“I wish i was thier phone….”

Posted by realhonestmum

So im looking through my Facebook feed (whilst bub is sleeping) and this picture hits me right in the heart, a little boy with what looks like his parents hands holding mobile phones with a caption that reads ” I wish i was their phone… so they would hold me and look at me all day”

kids,parents,technology

Such a powerful image that had me thinking how much time do i actually spend on my phone and better yet how much of that time is when my son is around? I took note throughout the day and noticed im on my phone at least once every half hour for up to 10 – 15 minutes at a time. That’s a lot of time to be loosing watching our babies grow up. Im often complaining about how quick my son is growing and yet here i am with my head down for quite a bit of time during the day missing out on all that growing and learning.

Social media and the internet is an exciting place, i love it hence the reason i spend so much time on it, i google my diagnosis every time im sick, i seek opinions when im unsure, it’s a brilliant thing, but just maybe if we look up once in a while we will see life is passing us by, put the phone down, grab your babies and go smell the fresh air outside, chase butterflies , throw a ball and just explore before your babies are to big to want to be around you.

After seeing this image it has made me really think about the time im spending with my little boy and am now conscience of what im spending my time on, i know im going to limit my time on my phone because i want to experience life with my kids and teach them that socializing with people is fun and healthy and far better then having your head focused on a screen all day.

Im sure many will disagree with me and that’s fine but i ask this, next time your on your phone have a look at the attitude of your child, do they look sad, are they feeling left out do they need more attention?

Until next time

-Realhonestmum

Grieving easier with Kids

Posted by realhonestmum

This month will mark 12 months since we lost my father to cancer. It’s been a bitter sweet time for our family and one i’m sure has been easier having our son around.

I was a daddies girl through and through. He was my hero and the first man i loved unconditionally. A man not traditionally a kid person but always made me feel loved and wanted which is what any child wants right? so you can imagine our heartache when we were dealt the news that dad had stage 4 cancer. The worst stage possible with a prognosis of maybe 6 to 12 months to live. I remember the night so clearly when dad broke the news. We were sitting in our lounge room, i was holding our then 4 month old son in my arms and i broke down the minute i heard the word Cancer. I think that word alone is death so i wasn’t really sure what to expect. My dad was super healthy. Never smoked, never drank or took drugs, ate healthy, so we all had hope that he would beat this. What hope do the rest of us have right?

We spent as much time with dad as we could but even now i wish we spent more time just chatting, life gets so busy particularly with a child we forget the important things in life and forget that just spending time with family and loved ones is just as important as doing the groceries or hanging out the washing.

We had 1 last great day with dad on Christmas day in 2014, a catered lunch at home spent with family. A 1st Christmas for our son which made it extra special. Dad was weak but was able to eat and laugh and enjoy his grandson. I believe dad held on for this day and because of that we will cherish those Christmas memories forever.

Boxing day was when we knew we didn’t have a lot of time, we lost dad in late January 2016. Even though you know its coming you can never prepare yourself for the loss of a loved one. I honestly believe that the only thing that got me through that whole experience and 2015 was my son. My crazy, wont sleep, stubborn, frustrating at times son.

I’m a true Aries, i’m strong and stubborn and hold everything in but i think motherhood makes you even stronger. Although every day i think about how my son will never grow up with an incredible grandfather who would have taught him so much i know that his memories will live on and hopefully help to guide the path of my son’s future.

Children seem to bring smiles to our faces even when we are sad inside, they take away the hurt with just one hug and keep our minds busy with the crazy adventures they get up to.

While life is busy please take the time to spend time with family and loved ones but also appreciate that even though they may frustrate you at times, children are truly a blessing, not just to help cope with death and hurt but to keep that light and love alive that you may feel your loosing.

The next challenge will be explaining death to a child, hopefully this is a few years away yet.

Until next time

-Realhonestmum

Being more than a mum

Posted by realhonestmum

Is it just me or do you sometimes feel that all you can remember being now is a mum?

For as long as i could remember i was a career woman, i started working at 16 and didn’t stop until we had our little boy, im now 31. Over the last 20 months i have enjoyed although frustrating at times being a mum however im now at the point where im starting to realise that im soo much more than just that. Yes we often hear people say that your not just a mum, your a housewife, a cook, a cleaner, a driver, a comforter, a parent but we are so much more than that. We are strong women who can juggle bloody well and if motherhood has taught me anything its that.

Be the best mum you want to be but dont forget who you are and what you are capable of along the way.

My new years resolution for 2016 is to do something for me, it might be to do a course, learn a language, join a charity or just make some new friends.

Is this selfish? who knows, i mean in this day im sure there will be people out there who think so but i know if im happy, my children are happy and my husband is happy then life is good.

Check out these interesting survey responses from a survey ran my netmums.com

Not just a mum survey responses – COURTESY OF NETMUMS.COM

I would love to hear your thoughts, how did you get your mojo back?

Until next time

-Realhonestmum

Why did i become a parent?

Posted by realhonestmum

This is the question i often asked myself for the first 8 weeks of my sons life. All sorts of questions were going through my head and also my husbands. What had we done? why on earth did we want this baby? Why cant i have my old life back?

Dont get me wrong, i love my son but this was a major change we were just not expecting. We didn’t think it was going to be all roses but no one really ever tells you just how hard being a parent to a new born is.

For those first time mums, i don’t want to scare you, i simply want you to have all the facts not just the fun, fluffy stuff that people are more than happy to share.

My husband and i have been together for 12 years, our life isn’t perfect but pretty close to. We love traveling, going out, and enjoyed dining out a couple of times a week. We were one of the last couples in our group of friends to have a baby, we were always the couple that didn’t want kids, we knew we would eventually have them but weren’t to fussed about when until the dreading big 30th birthday was approaching.It was then that i realized i was getting older and if i wanted to have a baby then i would have seriously start thinking about it. The decision was made that we would try.

We were fortunate enough to fall pregnant right away, then the planning started. As the months went on we got more and more excited about this little human entering our world, im not sure if it was the baby or the setting up the nursery that was the exciting part. Looking back now i realize just how ignorant we were as people towards parents and kids. Out thinking was that this baby would fit right into our life and we would still enjoy the finer things that we always had. A time when i would walk down the street and see a crying baby or a snotty nose toddler on the floor screaming because he couldn’t have that lolly, my response was ” if that was my kid, id slap it” or “thats the parents fault” now my instant reaction is feeling sorry for that poor parent.

How silly we were to think our lives wouldn’t change. 9 months later i was induced 2 weeks due to Cholestasis, a condition that effects your bile, in lamen terms made me itch all over. Could be dangerous and cause stillbirths. After 10 hours of excruciating pain, without any drugs except for the gas pushing and yes it is true when they say you poop while pushing, pretty hard not too ( mind you this was something i had read and was dreading) keeping in mind my poor husband was by my side the whole time, i was rushed in for emergency c-section due to baby not being able to pass through my pubic bone…. my thoughts on this were HELLLOOOO arnt our bodies meant to go through childbirth? why does my pubic bone not want to communicate? Not at all did i wonder if my baby had a big head..which he didnt incase you were wondering.

A c-section was something i didnt read about, after all i never expected to have one, my advice to all expecting mums is read everything you can about all scenarios when it comes to pregnancy and labour, you just never know whats going to happen, having a birthing plan i believe is a waste of time, sure think about your options, discuss what methods you are against but be open to everything and please….HAVE THE EPIDURAL…. it will save you a lot of pain.

Fast forward 2 days, we get to bring our beautiful little boy home, excitement, adrenaline and happiness was flowing until the first night, and let me just say any women who decides an elective cesarean has rocks in her head, the pain your in is excruciating espeacially when your having to deal with a newborn every hour or 2 throughout the night, lucky for a supportive husband otherwise i don’t know how i would have coped.

The next 8 weeks were hell, not only trying to recover from major surgery but trying to work out this little being that couldnt talk and tell me what he wanted. There were definatly days where i didnt want to be a mum anymore and as much as it sounds harsh i don’t think i really liked him for those first 8 weeks. I was even starting to feel bad that i didn’t love him yet. I was lucky that i didn’t end up with post natal depression, but i can understand how easy it is to spiral into that feeling and the whole shaking the baby syndrome, don’t worry i didn’t do it but some nights i could have.

As your reading this, you are likely thinking 1 of 2 things, the first might be, wow i cant believe how selfish this mum sounds, she should be grateful as some couples cant have kids, i say this to you, i am so grateful, having so many friends on a tough journey to parenthood and it seemed to come so easy to me, looking back 4 months on i couldn’t be happier, a question that was once asked ” can you imagine your life without him?” i then replied “absolutely i had a pretty fantastic life thank you very much” now if that same question was asked of me i would reply ” yes i could imagine life without him but now i don’t want too. i love him, he makes me smile every day, we take the good with the bad and i wouldn’t change anything right now” however ask me this question when we are going through teething and the answer may be different.

The other thing you may be thinking is, finally a mum who tells the truth, tells it how it is, makes me realize that every one goes through the same things. To you i say it does get easier, trust me i didn’t think it would either and every time someone said that to me i wanted to punch them in the face but it really does, that or you just become adapted to this new life called parenting.

This has been my first blog post, i’m sorry if i bored you with the little details, i hope each post you read you get a smile out of it and know that we are all in this together.

I’m not here to give you advice, as a first time mum i dont think i have that right yet, i just want to share my experiences and hopefully help to make it that little bit easier for you all.

Stay tuned for my next post about knowing when to ask for help. Ill also be adding a page of reviews on current baby and mum products that i have had experience with.

Feel free to leave your comments and thoughts i would love to hear from you all.

Until next time, good luck, take a breath and smile.

– real.honest.mum