If you are anything like me, stubborn, independent and want everything when i want it, then im sure asking for help from anyone has always been a hard thing for you as it has been with me. This became very apparent to me once i had a baby, i expected it to come easy, that i would be able to manage on my own no problems.

I was planning on still working from home, as well as helping my husband with his business and was excited at the prospect of being a perfect housewife and mother. The plan was to work in the home office during the day while the baby slept, after all i had been told that all a newborn baby does is eat, poop and sleep then in between feeds i would also attend to the house stuff, cooking, cleaning, washing all that fun stuff ( can you believe i was actually excited to do this). My goal was to have everything done with dinner on the table by 6pm for my loving, supportive, hard working hubby.

You can imagine my frustration when at 2.30 in the afternoons i was still in my pyjamas, hair a mess, smelling of spew, boobs sore my eyes bulging out of my head and a baby that just did not like to sleep. I think my biggest mistake before going into this parenting gig was i had such high expectations of myself of being able to manage everything and be in control of everything, those of you with kids will understand this completely… you just have no control over a newborn baby. It will do what it will do and all you can do is jump on for the ride and appreciate every sleepless night and accept every day that is wasted, after all these beings we call babies are time wasters whether we like to admit it.

Coming from a broken relationship with my own mother, it has always been on my conscience the sort of relationship i would have with my own children therefor i wanted to do everything myself, not rely on anyone else apart from my husband but if im totally honest, it doesn’t matter how great you are everyone needs help. I was lucky enough not to be diagnosed with post natal depression but i can completely understand how easy it is for some women to head down that path. The whole ” shaking the baby” syndrome, yep can understand that now also. Don’t worry i didn’t shake the baby but those times when all they do is cry and you don’t know what wrong with them at the time shaking seems like a pretty good idea at the time. It was those times i needed to take a deep breath and realize that this baby was relying on me to fix what ever problem it had so even though shaking the baby may have made me felt better at the time, it’s never the option to solve the problem. If you are or ever felt like this, it’s ok you are not alone. It doesn’t mean your a bad mum, it simply means that help might be just what you need to get through some of those tough days and night.

My help came in the way of Karitane. A clinic that helped with settling and sleeping issues. Simple yet effective techniques had me returning home 4 days later more confident and a much happier mum with a much more relaxed bub. When i was refered to go to Karitane, part of me felt like i had failed as a mum, that this place was my last resort to make things right and to succeed at this new job but now my feelings have changed. I feel proud to have stood up and asked for help. This has made be a better mum and set me on the right path to being the best mum i can be, whoever that might be.

Its only now nearly 5 months on that i am relaxed (most of the time) and really am starting to enjoy motherhood. Oh and dinner is on the table around 6pm some nights, and washing might stay there for a day or 2  and im OK with that.

So please ask for help, take that offer of someone hanging out your washing or making you that coffee, it’s those little things that can make all the difference.

Thanks for listening, see you next time.

-Realhonestmum x